How to Tune into Your Emotions (Even If You’ve Been Avoiding Them for Years)

If you've ever said, “I don’t really do feelings,” or “I’m just not an emotional person,” you’re not alone.

Many of us were raised to suppress, minimize, or avoid our emotions—especially the uncomfortable ones. But here’s the truth:

Avoiding your emotions doesn’t make them disappear. It just buries them deeper—and often shows up later as stress, burnout, anxiety, or even physical symptoms.

The good news? It’s never too late to learn how to tune in.

Why We Avoid Emotions

We avoid our emotions for good reasons. Maybe:

• You were taught that showing emotion was weak

• Your feelings were dismissed or punished as a child

• You didn’t have a safe place to express them

• You learned to survive by staying “in control”

But emotional avoidance is like ignoring the check-engine light on your car. Sooner or later, something breaks down.

What Happens When You Start Feeling Again

At first? It might feel messy.

Tuning into your emotions might bring a wave of feelings that seem intense or unfamiliar. But that’s not a breakdown—it’s a breakthrough.

Feeling your emotions is how you release them. It’s how you make space for peace, clarity, and healing.

5 Ways to Start Tuning In

1. Slow Down and Get Curious

When something feels off, ask:

• What am I feeling right now?

• Where do I feel it in my body?

• What triggered this response?

You don’t have to name it perfectly. Just notice. Awareness is the first step.

2. Use an Emotion Wheel

Many adults only use a handful of emotional labels: happy, sad, mad, tired. An emotion wheel expands your vocabulary and helps you identify more specific feelings—like ashamed, proud, anxious, disappointed, hopeful, or overwhelmed.

Words give shape to what’s happening inside.

3. Make Space to Feel (Without Fixing)

You don’t have to solve every emotion. You just need to feel it.

Try sitting with a feeling for 90 seconds. Breathe. Let it be there. Don’t distract, judge, or numb it. Most emotions pass more quickly than we think—when we stop resisting them.

4. Journal Without Editing

Write what you’re feeling, without worrying if it makes sense or sounds “right.” Let it be raw, unfiltered, and honest. This practice builds emotional fluency and helps you process what’s below the surface.

5. Work With a Therapist

If emotions feel too overwhelming—or totally foreign—a therapist can help you explore them safely. You’ll learn to recognize patterns, reconnect with your body, and develop tools for emotional regulation.

Why This Matters

Tuning into your emotions helps you:

• Improve relationships

• Make aligned decisions

• Reduce stress and anxiety

• Heal from past pain

• Build confidence and self-trust

You don’t have to live disconnected. Your emotions are messengers—not enemies.

Final Thoughts

You weren’t meant to live cut off from your own heart. You were meant to feel, connect, grow, and heal.

It’s okay to be new at this. It’s okay to take small steps. And it’s absolutely okay to ask for help along the way.

Ready to reconnect with your emotional self? Book a session with Alberta Online Counselling and start building emotional awareness that leads to true healing.